


5 Times Steve Rogers Almost Cursed & 1 Time He Did (+Bucky Tells A Story About Steve Cursing)

by orphan_account



Series: Random Fandom Drabbles and One-Shots [7]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Adorable Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe), F/F, Fluff, I Blame Tumblr, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Memes, Multi, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Peter Parker is Tony Stark's Biological Child, Peter Parker is a Little Shit, Precious Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe), Swearing, Team as Family, The Avengers Are Good Bros, Vines, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:20:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24936700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: 5 Times Captain Language almost cursed, and 1 Time he did.Bucky goes on a trip down memory lane and tells the team how Stevie used to act.Tony is just an amused smug son of a bitch. (Literally. Im looking at u Howard)Morgan and Peter have parents who swear 24/7.The Team now has blackmail material for monopoly game nights.(I really blame Tumblr rn)
Relationships: Harley Keener/Peter Parker, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, James "Bucky" Barnes/Tony Stark, Pepper Potts/Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Series: Random Fandom Drabbles and One-Shots [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1707718
Comments: 7
Kudos: 172





	5 Times Steve Rogers Almost Cursed & 1 Time He Did (+Bucky Tells A Story About Steve Cursing)

**Author's Note:**

> So.. This was supposed to be a drabble. But then i was like-
> 
> wAiT-
> 
> So I made this. 
> 
> Roughly based of comic I drew in 10 minutes. Which Im not showing cuz its pleby.

1.

It was just a normal Team dinner. Right? Wrong. If there's a dinner that contains all of the world's mightiest idiots, its a D I S A S T E R.

And today is no different.

~~

"Hey pops?" Morgan asked.

"Yes Maguna?" Steve replied, chewing on his steak.

"What is Shit?" She asked innocently.

That made all the table go quiet and look at the 5 year old.

"Where did you hear that!?" Steve panicked.

"Daddy said it yesterday when he was talking to Uncle Clint." She blinked innocently, not knowing she used a swear word.

Steve went deadly silent. The Team started sweating and Tony and Clint were almost standing.

He blinked.

Tony and Clint tried to dash to the other side. Keyword: Tried.

"Clinton Francis Barton And Anthony Edward Stark."

They froze.

"Get your as-" Steve paused.

"Get your butts here before I make you two sleep on the couch."

Everyone gasped. Steve never used the couch card.

The duo gulped. This was gonna be a longg night, and they haven't even finished dinner yet.

2.

Steve, Bucky, Tony and Morgan were in the kitchen waiting for Peter. Tony was using his StarkPad, Bucky was playing with Morgan, and Steve was drawing.

"Hey dads! Hey Morgs!" Peter waved from the outside then swung in.

Everyone had their on greeting.

"Hey Pete." Bucky

"Hey son." Steve.

"Hello Brother!" Morgan.

"Delinquent son I had Yet never wanted" Tony.

Peter rolled his eyes at his dad's antics.

Then he tensed.

"Hey papa, any chance you know how to bandage a wound?" He asked. Not because he didn't like Tony. No. But Tony is just.... overprotective. Peter just got stabbed on patrol. But he knew who did it. 

And Steve and Tony would either force it out or they will get Natasha the spidermom to get it out of him. 

At least with Bucky, there's a lesser chance he would Have to tell.

They looked at the spider.

"Hypothetical question, of course." He quickly fixed.

The genius inventor, spangled man and one-armed jesus still didnt buy it.

"Okay. Fine. I was stabbed during patrol.." he mumbled.

"But im not telling you who." He once again mumbled.

The dads shared a look. Morgan didnt hear because she was looking at the Captain's drawings.

"Are you sure about that, ребенок паук?(spider child)" a new voice said.

Peter turned around to see the Peter Stark Protection Squad.

"Yes, мама паук.(spider mom)" he deadpanned.

Natasha raised an eyebrow.

"хорошо. но только потому, что я люблю тебя.(Fine. But only because I love you.)" He said.

"ав. я тоже тебя люблю.(aw. I love you too.)" She cooed.

Bucky and Steve were watching this like a tennis match.

"Hold up, Steve, since when did you know Russian?" Bucky asked.

"I had to learn it when we had that mission in Russia. Remember? It just stuck with me I guess." He shrugged.

"Alright, Peter. Who stabbed you?" Shuri asked.

"Linda Square.."(my bullies irl name lmao sorry if its ur name tho) He mumbled.

The Avengers bar Morgan tensed.

Linda Square was Pete's old bully from elementary. When it was revealed he was Stark, Rogers , and Barnes' second child, he was also revealed as the friendly neighborhood spider-boi - I mean man.

"That son of a bi-" Steve cursed but stopped himself.

Luckily no one except Bucky heard, for he has super hearing. Peter wasn't wearing his hearing aids so he couldn't hear.

Bucky thought this was normal because Steve used to swear like a sailor in the 40's, so he didn't say anything.

3.

Bucky was having a bad day. As in BAD BAD. Meaning the days where he wishes he could just lie down and stay down.

It started with the paparazzi. Usually, there where no reporters to bother him. But today there was no juicy stories around NYC so they decided to bother the Winter Soldier

And that ended up having Bucky going into Winter mode when someone asked a personal question about his family.

Good thing Pepper was there, because if not, he would be strangling someone whether if he was the Soldier or not.

When Pep brought him to the common room, he was met with concerned looks from the team but Steve had an unreadable expression.

"You okay, Buck?" Tony asked, standing up.

"Fine. Stevie?" He moved on.

He was met with silence.

"Steve?" Pepper snapped.

"Hm?" Steve said, but not looking away from the wall.

"You okay, Stevie?" Tony asked.

"Fine." Steve answered. "When I murder some bast-" He smacked himself. 

"Captain Rogers! Sergeant Barnes! Mr. Stark! Mrs. Potts-Romanova! Dinner is finished cooking!" Vision yelled from the kitchen.

"Thanks Vis!" They yelled back.

Bucky once again brushed off the swearing, well almost swearing for his dinner.

4.

Tony, Bucky and Steve were 99.9% sure they were going to have a heart attack. Why? Because Peter. Peter. Peter the innocent spider boi. Was fucking Harley Shitty Kenner.

They were scarred for life. 

It was almost lunch time on a weekend. The original six + Bucky and Pepper were going out for shawarma. The dads were going to ask if we wanted to come with them.

But instead of seeing Peter doing any of the ff:

A. Playing with Legos 

B. Using TikTok

Or C. Playing with Morgan,

They saw him inches deep inside the boy from Tennese.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE!?!?" Bucky and Tony shouted.

The duo looked towards the door with embarrassed and scared expressions.

"Uh... Dads! Hi?..." Peter trailed off. He and Harley scrambled to put on their clothes.

"What the hell did I just witness..." Bucky mumbled.

"Uh... we were just um.... Did you guys ever hear of knocking?" He smiled awkwardly.

"Bulls-" Steve thankfully only said in his brain.

"Bullcrap." He whispered Instead.

No one payed the blonde from Brooklyn any mind because they were having a shouting match about...

'Peter being too young' the adults

'Peter and Harley were old enough' the couple in question.

Little did they know, the avengers were watching from the common room where JARVIS was playing it on video.

The adults are scarred for life. Even Strange, Natasha and Vision.

5.

It was career day at Midtown High.

Sadly, only the parents could go.

So Bucky, Steve and Tony were here.

They were following Peter when all of a sudden, he bumped into someone.

"Watch where your going, fatass."(who understood this reference? If you did, I love you) Dollie McBridge said. Another one of Peter's bullies. 

She had pale skin, pale hair and even pale blue eyes for fuck's sake.

"Excuse me, your the fatass here, you cheap beat up plastic Barbie doll." (So many references!) Peter retorted.

She sneered. "Whatever, bitch." Then she walked away.

"Thats our son. 2030 and he swearing like a fucking sailor." Bucky drawled, amused and proud at the same time.

Peter blushed.

"Nngh. Language people!" Steve sighed.

Peter and Tony rolled their eyes.

And Bucky looked at him confused.

"Sons of a b-" He mumbled but slapped himself once again.

Bucky was too busy looking at Steve and the man in question was mumbling that they didn't hear the smartasses aka the geniuses with a pride for science leave.

+1 & the story of exposing cap

The Avengers and co. came back from a mission in Hawaii. Fury gave them a mission to infultrate a millionaire's mansion that has illegal drugs and arms that even SHIELD doesn't have.

It took a total of 9 weeks to do it.

I mean, who's hotel lets 20 people and more in it without a good reason? And they were undercover so Tony couldn't use his damn ego.

And surprisingly, it was nearly impossible to get in to the mansion without alerting the guards AND getting the illegal stuff.

But they are the Avengers. Earth's Mightiest Heroes and idiot's. They managed.

But, the injury list was off the charts.

Steve had a broken leg and a minor but bleeding wound in the back of his head,

Tony got a broken ankle and wrist and a deep wound near the reactor,

Bucky had his metal arm broken and got his foot cut off.

Everyone else just got minor injuries and a broken arm or two.

Once everyone got fixed, they met in the common room and when Steve saw his husbands, he lashed out.

"WHERE THE FUCK ARE THOSE BASTARDS! ARE YOU GUYS OKAY? DO YOU WANT ME TO DO THE SAME TO THEM? FUCKING SHIT!" Steve cursed loudly.

All the Avengers looked at him as though he had a million heads.

"What!" He exclaimed.

"You. Captain Language Rogers, cursed." Clint and Rhodey pointed out.

"What's new there?" Bucky asked.

They all bar Steve looked him crazily.

"Steve, doesn't curse. He even scolded Tony when we went on a mission just because he cursed." Bruce said. Steve glared at him.

"Why?" Bucky asked.

"America must stay holy." Tony shrugged and hid a smirk behind his mug of coffee.

Then he burst out laughing.

"Steve ? Steve?.... he .... doesn't curse? Oh haha guys." Bucky wiped a tear from his eye.

"No kidding." Rhodey said.

"What? Steve?" He looked at his husband now.

"Bucky... dont."

"That guy cursed like a sailor in the 40's! Even before he was America's golden boy, he had quite a mouth." He snorted.

"I remember in the military, he didn't curse around dames or higher ranks. But with his friends... especially the Howlies, he cursed like the was no tomorrow! He even made a grown man taller and bigger then him cry! Even as a scrawny sickly thin kid from Brooklyn!" Somewhere during his story. He fell to the ground and covered his middle.

"Fuck You Barnes." Steve said.

Everyone except Tony and Bucky looked at him.

"And thats Captain Star Spangled Man with a Plan for ya, folks!" Tony smirked.

"Fuck you too, Stark." He glared.

The Avengers were silent while Bucky and Tony died of laughing.

"If only aunt Peggy, dad and the Howlies could see you cursing cap." Tony drawled.

Steve just left the room but not before putting his middle finger up.

**Author's Note:**

> EDIT: come be a potato with me on [Tumblr!](https://loriedapotxto.tumblr.com)


End file.
